goodbye 2012

This year is drawing to a close and for the first time in I don’t know how long, I’m not sure I like that. On New Year’s Eves past my sentiments have been “good riddance 20XX” or “20XX was certainly not our year, so bring on the next; it has GOT to be better than the one we just had.” 

This year, I don’t know. 2012 has been so beautiful to us, so amazing, so life changing. It started the same as any other year, but before we were even a full month in, 2012 changed the game forever. This year has been indescribable. I literally cannot put into words what this year has meant for our family. It has been the fulfillment of every promise God has whispered to me in the midst of prayers said in anguish; the culmination of a Holy dance of trust the Lord has been leading me through for the past ten years of my life. The Spirit filled crescendo of a song Jesus wrote just for me. 

This year has been amazing for other reasons as well: we celebrated my mom’s 10 year cancer remission anniversary, my sister, sister in law, and my best friend all found out they were pregnant this year, Tyler started his first pastorate as a senior pastor, and my brother started his senior year of college. Yeah, 2012 has been great to us. 

Part of me wants to hold so tightly to it, because I know it can’t always be this way. Right now we are all happy, we are all healthy, we are all together. (All too soon Jeff will be graduating and heading out on his own, which means leaving Kansas) I just want to take all these pieces of life and gather them up around me, and hold them tight. I want to squeeze them in my arms and make everything stay just as it is now. I know great times are ahead, but I know some really hard times probably are too, and I want to hide in the warmth and security of 2012 just a bit longer. I want to bask in this feeling, this beauty, this year, just a little more. It’s been like feeling the warm sun on my face after a never-ending winter, like wrapping up in a toasty towel fresh from the dryer after getting soaked to the bone in a freezing cold rain :) The Lord has revealed so much of Himself to me this year and changed the way I understand so many things, I don’t want that to stop. I know He is in control and change is inevitable, but with such a sweet year filled with baby yawns, and slobbery kisses, can you blame me for wanting to stretch this year out for as long as I can? 

Have fun with your loved ones this New Year’s, be careful and be safe. Treasure the moments that make it all worth it this next year; recognize them as they are happening and just soak them in; allow yourself to feel every facet of every emotion they gift you with. Let the Lord lead your steps, let go of the things that hold you back from Him, leave them on the shore and let him sweep you away in His current. It will be scary at first, with the rushing water, the sudden drops, the spinning and twisting in the water; but I guarantee you will never feel more alive! 

As for me? I am going to soak up the precious last moments of 2012 like a lazy cat on a sunny patch of carpet. I am going to wring every last drop of comfort, warmth and security I can from this year, because it has been the literal best year of my life; Glory be to God. 

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